Are you feeling overwhelmed and unable to find a balance between your professional and personal life?
Have you been trying to find a way to get more stress relief, peace, and balance with no success?
If so, this episode is for you
Learn how to maximize productivity, save time, money and energy with actionable strategies to give you back HOURS of your time and replace the myth of work-life balance with work-life integration.
Here’s what I cover:
1. Discover how to maximize productivity, save time, money and energy with actionable strategies to make your daily life so much easier
2. Find out why the myth of work-life balance needs to be replaced by work-life integration.
3. Uncover how to make the most of time spent with loved ones and how to outsource time-consuming tasks to save time and energy.
[00:02:42]
why work-life integration is better than "balance"
[00:06:17]
practical suggestions to consider to help save time, money, energy and relieve stress and overwhelm
[00:09:43]
the one exercise that will give you HOURS back in your day
[00:10:55]
the impact of quantity versus quality of time spent
[00:17:44]
how to multiply your time and get a return on time invested
[00:19:07]
how to calculate your monthly budget and how conventional thinking about saving money is wrong
[00:23:17]
the myth of the 40 hour workweek
[00:27:56]
Life does not have to be so hard. You just might need a different way to live it.
Rory Vaden's TEDx talk: How To Multiply Your Time
Connect with me:
Instagram: purposefilter
LinkedIn: luyikathyzhang
Website: https://luyikathyzhang.com/
If you're ready to get out of your head and step into action, then book a pro bono call with me here. We'll quickly discover what's holding you back and unlock the power you've always had within you
Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here
Are you feeling overwhelmed and unable to find a balance between your professional and personal life?
Have you been trying to find a way to get more stress relief, peace, and balance with no success?
If so, this episode is for you
Learn how to maximize productivity, save time, money and energy with actionable strategies to give you back HOURS of your time and replace the myth of work-life balance with work-life integration.
Here’s what I cover:
1. Discover how to maximize productivity, save time, money and energy with actionable strategies to make your daily life so much easier
2. Find out why the myth of work-life balance needs to be replaced by work-life integration.
3. Uncover how to make the most of time spent with loved ones and how to outsource time-consuming tasks to save time and energy.
[00:02:42]
why work-life integration is better than "balance"
[00:06:17]
practical suggestions to consider to help save time, money, energy and relieve stress and overwhelm
[00:09:43]
the one exercise that will give you HOURS back in your day
[00:10:55]
the impact of quantity versus quality of time spent
[00:17:44]
how to multiply your time and get a return on time invested
[00:19:07]
how to calculate your monthly budget and how conventional thinking about saving money is wrong
[00:23:17]
the myth of the 40 hour workweek
[00:27:56]
Life does not have to be so hard. You just might need a different way to live it.
Rory Vaden's TEDx talk: How To Multiply Your Time
Connect with me:
Instagram: purposefilter
LinkedIn: luyikathyzhang
Website: https://luyikathyzhang.com/
If you're ready to get out of your head and step into action, then book a pro bono call with me here. We'll quickly discover what's holding you back and unlock the power you've always had within you
Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here
If you've ever felt like you have way too much going on between work, family, your personal life, and you just wish someone could tell you how to live differently so you could get some breathing room, I have got just the episode for you. You're listening to the Purpose Filter podcast, the show that shares actionable tips to help you live life without regret. I'm your host, Dr. Dr. Kathy Zhang, mindset and life coach and a hospice and palliative care doctor. So I take care of dying people.
00:00:31
So I've learned a thing or two about living. On today's episode, we are going to talk about the myth of work life balance and share specific actionable strategies that you can implement right away so you can maximize productivity, save time, money and energy and pay yourself back in spades with the amount of stress and overwhelm that you are releasing from your life. These are strategies and things that I've picked up along the way and things that actually have worked for me to be able to create the life that I have today. This is such a great episode packed with so much value. You're not going to want to miss it.
00:01:14
Take a listen. Hello. Hello and welcome back to another episode here at the Purpose Filter podcast. Hope you are doing amazing this week on today's episode, this was inspired by a recent conversation I had with a couple of friends and we were talking about work life balance, specifically. These friends of mine, they are working mothers, parenting, going to work childcare, all of this stuff.
00:01:44
And it's a lot, right? It is so much to deal with. And one of my friends said, she's like, I feel like I'm a little bit underwater. And so I really wanted to explore a little bit about work life balance because I think it's something that we all struggle with, we all wish that we had it better sorted out in our lives. And when we feel like there's not enough of one or too much of the other, things feel really hairy, really stressful, really, really overwhelming.
00:02:15
So the whole premise of this episode is really to talk about my favorite things, basically, mindset, how do we think about work life balance? And then kind of the more matter of fact things, the strategies, the action tips, the practical techniques that you can actually use, you can implement in your own life to actually make this feel less burdensome for you. That's what I like to do in these podcast episodes and that's what I love to do in my coaching sessions too. So let's get started.
00:02:46
First and foremost, can we please forget about this thing called work life balance? There's no such thing in my mind as work life balance because the word balance itself implies that you're supposed to not feel like you're going to be toppled over by your life sometimes and that it's supposed to be easy all the time. And that you have to spend the same amount of time in each area of your life. Otherwise you're a bad person or a bad parent or whatever it is. Let's instead invite ourselves to consider work life integration.
00:03:21
And that's exactly what it is. We find ways to integrate our life into our work and our work into our life to the extent that we want to. And there's going to be seasons of our lives, right? Sometimes we're going to be spending a lot more time at work because there's a project, there's a deadline, there's something that needs to get done, and other things are going to have to take a slightly lower priority. It is what it is.
00:03:47
That's just the ebb and flow of life. Other times, life is really going to need your 100% attention. Someone gets sick, someone loses a job, something happens. And you need to attend to that area of your life, and you're not going to be able to spend the amount of time and energy that you want in other aspects. And that's okay.
00:04:07
That's just another part of being human, right? The other thing that I invite us all to consider, and this may be a little bit harsh, but is to stop complaining that our situations suck, all right? Complaining about something without doing anything to change it is just wasted energy. You can talk about it if it makes you feel better, and you're like, okay, yes, it's a stress relief for me to be able to acknowledge what's happening, et cetera, et cetera. But complaining doesn't do anything, all right?
00:04:40
And I'll just tell you this. People who are working will always say, gosh, if I just had more free time or if I didn't have to work, I would be so much more productive. I'd be able to do this and that and this, and I'd have so much free time, and I could use that time to spend on my hobbies, et cetera. And you know what people who aren't in the office say? They say, God, I wish I had more structure to my day because I just feel like I'm floating around and then I get caught up in doing something and all of a sudden it's the evening.
00:05:10
I don't know where the time went. It would be so much easier to get things done if I were working a nine to five, and that way I would know that that's my work time, then I would come home. And then when I have my evening time, it doesn't matter which camp you are in. It's always going to seem hard because you're in it, because it's your life. And you think that everything's going to be easier if you just didn't have this particular situation.
00:05:37
And that is not the case. Okay? I just want to bring that to your attention because I fell into this trap too. I used to say the same thing. Oh, if I just had more time, et cetera.
00:05:46
And now that I do have a little bit more time, holy shit. It's hard on the other side to be like, how do I structure this so that I am still productive? And I know what you're thinking, okay? You're thinking, But Kathy, Jamie, so and so down the street. Or Margaret.
00:06:02
That's not from the PTA association. They work full time. Margaret has six kids, two dogs, a cat, a hamster, and she gets a massage and a manicure weekly. She has it all. Okay, let's address the people who have it all, shall we?
00:06:22
Either the people who have it all seem to have it all, and they're a mess inside, just like you and I are, and they're just showing you the highlight reel because that's what people do. It's social media. They pretend that they're happy when really their relationships are falling apart and they hate themselves every time they look in the mirror or whatever it is. Or consider this, maybe Jamie so and so and Margaret, this and that are doing something different than you are. Jamie and Margaret don't have more hours in the day than you do, than I do.
00:06:58
It's the same 24 hours, right? So let's consider what it is that maybe we could do differently in our lives that can get us to the point where we seem to have a better work life integration, where it doesn't feel like we're fucking drowning, when it doesn't feel like we're running and working so hard but staying in place. And so I'm going to share some things that I've learned, that I've read over the years that I've applied myself, that have really helped me with my work life integration, balance, whatever you want to call it. Okay? And I want to preface that not all of these will be applicable to you at this time and chapter of your life.
00:07:44
You may not be in the financial position to consider some, maybe most, or maybe all of these actions. I invite you to still pay attention and listen, and you can still get value from these episodes. These are just options, things that I hopefully will be able to plant some seeds in your head that when you do get to a point where these may be an option for you, then it'll be like, okay, yes, I've heard that before. This makes sense for me now, and now is the time to implement it. And you know what?
00:08:20
Maybe you're going to be like, none of these are going to apply to me. And what if you actually tried? Maybe these options, these suggestions, will give you an idea to start a business to solve some of the problems I'm going to mention below, right? I had a friend who said that she got her car detailed because she found a group of teenagers who started a business doing door to door car detailing. You just contact them on the app, they show up at your door, you don't have to move your car at all and they will detail your car at your house.
00:08:56
That is genius. Okay? I've been trying to get my car detailed for like months and I just haven't had the time. Regardless, I want you to consider this. Alex Hormozi, a businessman, entrepreneur, that sort of thing.
00:09:09
He says solve rich people's problems and get paid rich people's money. So with that said, here are some practical things for you to consider. These are just suggestions, but if you seriously think about them, they could save you time, energy, money and emotional distress overwhelm. It may just make your life a little bit easier and give you a little bit more breathing room. And who can say no to a little bit more breathing room, right?
00:09:43
Okay, so the first thing is your time. I've talked about this before. It was podcast episode number 43. Just something like the five things about time management that you don't know or you're not doing something along those lines. And one of those things that I said in that episode, I believe is doing a time audit.
00:10:04
I've done this before. You literally write down everything that you're doing in either 30 minutes or 1 hour increments for like a week, maybe even two weeks if you're dedicated because it will give you so much information as to how you are spending your day when you're like, I don't have time for that. Actually, when you track what you're doing minute by minute, you will realize you have hours in the day that you are not maximizing. And I say this from experience because I was like, holy shit, I have like two or 3 hours that I'm literally doing nothing. I'm just skimming social media where I'm daydreaming when I'm not being as productive as I actually could be.
00:10:46
So number one, time management, time audit. Listen to that episode. Episode 43. It's a really good one and I know you're going to like it. The next action item that I hope you will consider is thinking about time spent with loved ones as quantity versus quality time.
00:11:04
And I want to talk about a study that was done with patients and providers. These patients were randomized into a trial. They had elective spine surgery and then the doctor, the provider, came in afterwards to have some sort of interaction with them and they had the provider either stand while they were having the interaction or sit. And then they asked the patients to estimate how much time the provider spent with them. They found that sitting instead of standing at the patient's bedside had a significant impact on patient satisfaction, their compliance, and the rapport.
00:11:42
And the patients with whom the physician sat reported a more positive interaction and a better understanding of their condition, even though the amount of time between the sitting versus the standing provider was no different. Okay, and so how does that translate into our daily lives. If you have a partner, a parent, a sibling, a child, someone that you love, or someone that you want to connect to more in your daily life, it's not necessarily how much time you spend with them. You can spend 4 hours with someone, but if you're distracted, you're thinking about work, you're like, what am I going to make for dinner? Blah, blah, blah.
00:12:27
Then that person picks up on your energy. That other party knows that quality time is not actually quality time because you're not fully present. You are not there. I would much rather, and I know many people agree with me, I would much rather have 30 minutes of your undivided attention where I feel like we're actually having a real human connection than 2 hours of your time where you're like, kind of here, kind of responding to me, checking your phone and things like that. That's the power of being present.
00:13:00
That is the power of having someone's undivided attention where you finally feel seen, where you feel like you're being heard. You feel like you're having a real human to human interaction rather than all the shit that we put ourselves through on a daily basis. Okay? So quality time versus quantity. And for those of you who do have kids, I've spoken to many, many parents.
00:13:28
They all say it is not necessarily how much time you spend with your kids, but how much you are there for them when you do spend time together. As a kid, I didn't have babysitters. TV was my babysitter. But the time that I did spend with my parents, I remember being really loved, really, really supported. I don't remember, and I bet you don't even remember either how much time actually your father, your mother, your parents, whatever, would sit with you and do homework together.
00:13:59
Was it 8 hours? Was it 2 hours after dinner each night? You remember the feeling, not the minutes that you spent with each person. Does that make sense? All right, the next action item I want to talk about is outsourcing.
00:14:13
Okay? Many of you listening to this podcast are probably in white collar jobs with disposable income. And if you're not, this applies to you too. And this is something that eventually you can work towards. I want you to calculate your hourly wage, as in what you get paid per hour at work to do the work that you do.
00:14:38
And that could be $50 an hour. That could be minimum wage. That could be $250 an hour. My accountant charges $500 an hour to talk to him, so you better be damn sure that when I talk to my accountant, I have everything written down and I make full use of that time. So once you calculate your hourly wage, $50, let's say anything below that, you outsource it.
00:15:03
So if it costs less than $50 an hour for you to have someone else do this particular thing that you have been doing yourself. I want you to outsource it. And you're like, oh, my God, I can't do that. What if they don't do it as well? Okay, what is the price of your mental health?
00:15:23
Because you cannot do it all. None of us can do it all. I really invite you to think about how much an hour of rest, how much an hour of peace and quiet, how much an hour spent doing something that you love to do rather than something you feel like you have to do, how much that is worth. It's not about the price. It's not about outsourcing.
00:15:48
It's not about whether someone can do it just as well as you can because you have trouble letting go of control in your life. It is about how you are spending your time and how you are using that time to pay yourself back. And that can be things as ordinary as laundry, cleaning your house, child care. I know some people who hire private chefs maybe once a week or something like that so that they can spend more time with their family, and they get to learn how to cook, and they get to learn new recipes. That is an experience for the family.
00:16:25
And a lot of us do not even consider these things as options, because if you are anything like me, you did not grow up with any of this shit. I didn't grow up having anyone do our laundry, clean our house, cook our food, take care of me, none of that shit. But we are not our parents. We are different. We have come a long way, okay?
00:16:49
So I hope that you will consider what your hourly wage is and outsource the things that you do not need to be doing. Had someone once say, like, you know what? I don't want to hire a cleaner because I love a good aggressive cleaning session. Okay, that's fine. That's cool.
00:17:07
Everyone loves a good, aggressive cleaning session for stress relief sometimes. But that doesn't mean you can't do it just because someone else is cleaning your house, right? That's like 10% of the time. When you clean the other 90%, you're like, God damn this fucking toilet. Right?
00:17:25
Like, what's a different way to relieve stress other than cleaning your own house? There's nothing wrong with cleaning your own house. I love it. We still do it, and we have a cleaner that has nothing to do with it is all about the mentality of how you spend your time and how you can multiply your time. Speaking of multiplying your time, everyone listening to this episode needs right after this to go and watch the YouTube video of a Ted Talk by a man named Rory Vaden.
00:17:55
roryvaden. And he talks about multiplying your time. I will paraphrase some of the things that he says in the Ted Talk for you here, which is essentially, invest your time now, today in doing things that will save you time in the future. It's a return on time invested is what he says. Roti he brings up a great example of automatic bill pay, something that may take you 2 hours now to set up automatic bill pay, even though it doesn't take 2 hours.
00:18:29
Okay, we all know that. But if you spend 30 minutes paying your bills each and every month, the 2 hours that you spend upfront, you'll break even in about four months. And then after that, that time is yours. That time is back to you. It's in your bank, right?
00:18:46
He also talks about things like eliminating tasks and if you can't eliminate them, automate them. If you cannot automate them, delegate them, and then having it go through a funnel so that you are prioritizing what is most important to you in this season of life. It is such a good Ted Talk. You have to listen to it. I will link it in the show notes as well.
00:19:07
The next thing that I hope that you will consider is to calculate your monthly minimum livable income. You add up all of the expenses that you have, some of your basic absolute necessities, rent, your mortgage, your food bill, your electric bill, utilities, all of that stuff. Those are your basic living needs. And then you add in buffers so that you feel comfortable with this number, adding in things like how much discretionary spending that you'll be able to have a couple of date nights a week or going out to the movies once a month or something like that. Figure out whatever that number is where you feel like that is a comfortable living.
00:19:53
And you would not feel stressed if that number was all that you made for the month. And then that number may surprise you. It may be much lower than you think. You actually need a lot of us, especially as we start to earn more, start to have lifestyle creek, right? Things that you were like, oh, a $5 lunch before you're like, holy crap, that's a lot.
00:20:16
And then $10, and then now 15 $20 for lunch is the norm for you. That is lifestyle creep. You do not necessarily need a $20 lunch when a $5 lunch will suffice. And so once you calculate your minimum livable income and you figure out what that number is, let's say whatever, $3,000 a month, then consider what you can do with that extra cash. One is you can invest that money into something that will give you monthly cash flow.
00:20:50
And monthly cash flow means it's not that you are buying a house that you're like, oh, it's going to go up in price by 20% when I sell it five years down the line. You are not making any money each month. No money hits your bank account every month. When that happens, you need cash flow, meaning something gets deposited into your bank account a certain amount of money because you invested a certain amount upfront. That is how you make money in your sleep.
00:21:23
Warren Buffett says this. If you don't find a way to make money while you sleep, you will work until you die. Right? And another thing, when we're talking about finances, saving money, cutting out expenses is the easiest way for you to pad your own bank account. And I want to dispel the myth of a dollar saved is a dollar earned, because that's not actually true.
00:21:50
If you really, really look at the math. Every dollar you save, depending on what your tax bracket is, those are post tax dollars that's net dollars after Social Security, after federal and state income tax. Every dollar that you save. Now, after tax, you would have to earn 1.31.51 .6. Whatever your tax bracket is, you'd have to earn that much more to actually save that one dollars net post tax.
00:22:23
And so I hope you think about it that way, that every dollar you save is actually worth much more than the dollar that you are not spending. Take the time. Go through your bank account. Go through your credit card statements. There are recurring charges that you do not need.
00:22:41
You do not need all seven TV subscriptions. You don't need Netflix and HBO and Hulu and ESPN and NFL and Disney Plus and whatever. You don't need all of them. Pick a couple and cut out the rest. Trust me, you will not die if you do that.
00:23:01
If you are not actively using the membership, cut it out. You do not need it. And if you want to rejoin, you can do that at a later time if you really, really miss it. But chances are, if you're not using it, you're not going to miss it. And I say this to myself as well.
00:23:16
I'm going to do this right after. And one last thing that I want to bring up when it comes to ways to make our work life integration, our work life balance a little less awful is to consider cutting down on the time you spend at work. Can you go part time? And you're like, oh, my God, I cannot go part time. We have all these expensive end loans and all this stuff like that.
00:23:40
Hold on. Let's take a deep breath. I said this, too at one point in my life, okay? I calculated my minimum livable income. It was a lot lower than what I thought I actually needed, and it was lower than what I was actually getting paid per month.
00:23:58
I had invested the time upfront to make sure that I had cash flowing investments. I studied. I took courses on investing in real estate and that sort of thing. And so over time, I had extra income coming in. So it felt comfortable for me to go to my boss and say, hey, can I cut down to 32 hours a week instead of 40 hours a week.
00:24:24
Remember, the 40 hours work week started in the Great Depression because in the Industrial Revolution, 70 work hours a week was considered the norm. And the labor movement was like, maybe we should bring that down to 40. This was in the when one parent, usually the father was going to work and the other, usually the mother, would be at home taking care of the kids. 40 hours as a working parent is not what the 40 hours work week was set up for. So I hope that you remember that.
00:24:58
That's why it feels fucking awful a lot of times when you have to deal with being a parent. And even if you're not a working parent, even if you're just an employee, that's a lot. Okay, so ask yourself, is it possible for you to cut back a smidge just a little bit, at work? Because I guarantee you, going from 40 hours a week to 32 hours a week is going to make a difference. You do not think that it will for your life, but it does.
00:25:25
It gives you some extra breathing room. If you can afford it, if you can financially afford it, it's not an option for everyone. But I invite you to consider that it could be more of an option than you actually think it is. And look, I know you're thinking, what does this have to do with living a life without regret or having a fulfilling and meaningful life on your deathbed? You know what people don't say to me when they're dying is, oh, I wish I'd spent more time doing laundry.
00:25:59
98% of people say, I wish I'd spent more time with the people that I loved. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. I wish I hadn't been so absent from my family. These aren't just tips and tricks to be more productive so you can integrate your work life. They are.
00:26:13
But there's a deeper reason here. It's about what truly makes sense for you as a person and how you want to live your life. That's what we're doing. That's why we're talking about this. Because the better that you feel about how you're living your life, the more that's going to spill over into other people's lives.
00:26:32
Think about what you can do with that extra money with that extra time. Could you donate to charity? Could you pay someone better wages? Maybe you can mentor someone who wouldn't otherwise have the opportunity to learn from you because you were too busy dealing with your own life. Maybe you could create a side hustle that brings in extra money.
00:26:51
You could pursue a hobby or creative outlet that brings you joy and meaning. Maybe you could read more books. Whatever it is, I invite you to think about living your life differently than the way that you are now. Especially if the way that you are now is stressing you out. Because you do not have to live like this.
00:27:13
This is optional. The state that you're living in is optional. You just have no idea what the alternatives could be. And that's okay. No one's told it to you, or you've never really thought that it was possible because you've never seen it before.
00:27:28
And that's okay. That's what possibility models are. That's why we're having these conversations. That's what coaches are for. They help you see another perspective you may not have considered before.
00:27:39
And so you say, Maybe that's possible for me, too. And that is exactly what I want to leave you with possibility that your life could be different than it is now. That's it? Just consider the possibility. All right, look, I know I packed a lot into that episode.
00:27:59
I just want to say this. If you feel overwhelmed by work, by life, you want to create more time to spend with your loved ones, to spend on yourself, to feel rested and recharged instead of exhausted and overwhelmed, book a call with me, and I will. Physically. We will look at your schedule, we'll examine your lifestyle, and we'll help you figure out what to eliminate automate and delegate. And I just want you to remember, life does not have to be so hard.
00:28:29
You just might need a different way to live it, that's all. And you might need someone to help you figure it out, because when you're in it, it's hard to see the forest for the trees. So, as always, it's been a pleasure. Take care of yourselves and take care of each other. I will see you next week.